The only thing that makes me madder than a...
Is a restaurant being head-over-heels apologetic when I return an hour later to pick up the correct food. As I stood there shoeless and fuming in basketball shorts in the middle of the bar, the artist previously known as my waiter told me to “please tell your wife that I am so sorry and I feel terrible.” You. Unexpectedly empathetic. Mother. Fucker. I walked in ready to smash...
I HAVE BEEN WANTING SOME NUTTY ALL DAY
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2010-7-25) →
Big Star (98) The Conet Project (84) The Monkees (37) The Bigger Lovers (35) Crowded House (35) Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
Not only are you reviewing an Air Bud movie...
But your review of that Air Bud movie isn’t even about the fucking Air Bud movie. It’s about you. Dude. Trust me. No one around here gives a cornfed shit about your family. How much you loved it. How much your wife/husband loved it. How often your ugly kids beg you to let them watch it between dripping mawfuls of cheese fries. Over and over. All the time. Until you die. Let me...
Why Creatives Are Always Confused As you stroll the halls of an ad agency you...– Yeah. This. (By and from adcontrarian, via wordarific, via 3rdmartini) (via tbmimsthethird) All brilliant examples of how creating ad campaigns is like brushing your teeth: “No matter how you’re doing it, you’re doing it wrong.” (I think I’m paraphrasing that...
It would be cliche if it hadn't just happened.
M: Do you realize how you have to disagree with me about everything? H: I do not. M: … H: Shit.
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2010-7-18) →
Guided by Voices (80) Band of Horses (44) Oranger (40) Nick Lowe (37) Hoagy Carmichael (25) Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
all of this space is kind of lonesome
(via kellydeal) Why didn’t anyone tell me Kelly Deal was going into space? How did I miss this? This is amazing. It’s beyond amazing. It’s legendary. Remember when they said we were just a bunch of elitist social network pricks? Remember that? Well, now look. Now look, goddammit. You guys, KELLY DEAL IS IN FUCKING SPACE. We did it.
The Instant Credit Rule
There’s a little-known rule for when you’re saving a damsel from certain death. It’s called The Instant Credit Rule. I’m paraphrasing of course, but the rule goes that if an endangered woman is serendipitously saved by a random and unforeseen act of nature, credit for the rescue job is awarded to the first dude on the scene. It’s true. The rule was put in place...
Note it: The Dalai Lama's tweets are all sent from...
Go ahead. Check my math. No apps, man. NO APPS. Not for the Lama. Think about it. He doesn’t need your Earthly apps, bro. He’s telling us to put down our apps. Just lay them down. They’re only standing between you and The Truth. Get back in touch with the real Internet, he’s saying. Dalai Lama. DALAI LAMA.
PORKCHOPS AND APPLESAUCE
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2010-7-11) →
Harry Nilsson (112) Leadbelly (69) Uncle Tupelo (61) Jonathan Richman & The Modern (36) Jonathan Richman (32) Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
Holy shit, Squeeze was just on Fallon.
fireland: R.E.M. / Auctioneer (Intro Loop) The...
L: Walter, that red-haired guy with all the monkey lawn ornaments is digging in his yard again.
L: The weird red-haired guy next door. With all the monkey toys. He's digging something.
M: They're apes. Technically, they're more like super-advanced man-apes. But they're not monkeys is the point.
L: I think... I think he's burying one of them.
M: What's that?
L: He is. He's burying a plastic monkey in his yard.
M: Oh. Well, uh... He's probably just...
M: He's probably just goofing around. Maybe he knows you're watching and he's messing with you.
L: He's taking pictures of it.
M: Really? Huh. Well, maybe he's doing some kind of art. I don't know. Remember he said he liked art. Remember when we met him at the block party last summer?
L: Walter, he's burying a plastic monkey in his yard and taking pictures of it. On a Sunday. In his yard. That's not art, Walter.
M: Sure it is. Everything is art if you want it to be.
L: Well it's not art to me.
M: What's that, dear?
L: I said... nevermind.
Ride the tiger!
He was The Wizard of a thousand kings, And I chanced to meet him one night,...– Uriah Heep mustache guy This is how lyrics are done. Watch and learn, motherfuckers. Also pants.
Sometimes I get you people mixed up with the...
So apologies if I ever offer any of you B.J. Upton, Matt Lindstrom and David Wright for Victor Martinez and pitching prospects. Just reject it and tell me Lindstrom seems hurt the last 3 weeks, Wright strikes out and get caught stealing too much, and Upton’s 2007 season was clearly a fluke. I’ll throw in Zack Greinke and you will have owned my ass.
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2010-7-4) →
Echo & The Bunnymen (61) The Feelies (45) Joy Division (37) Bing Crosby (21) The Clique (14) Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
Stranded deep in enemy territory, the Spartan general Clearchus and the other...– Anabasis (Xenophon) - Wikipedia “WAAAAARIOOOORSSSS. COME OUT TO PLAY-YAAAAYYYY…”
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2010-6-27) →
Nick Lowe (11) Radiohead (10) Fleetwood Mac (5) Glen Campbell (4) Boston (3) Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz